When a chair flew across the room during a heated outburst, we all froze for a moment. That unforgettable incident shook my early career and launched me on a quest to decode the art of negotiation. I discovered that every negotiation pulses with raw emotion. People deal with people, and our feelings drive every interaction.
You hold the reins in negotiations when you channel your emotions. Warm feelings like trust, empathy, and genuine enthusiasm can spark a cooperative effort where both sides team up to create a win-win deal. On the flip side, fierce anger, mounting frustration, and creeping anxiety can wreck a conversation, leading to deadlock. When negative emotions surge, negotiators fixate on winning at all costs, often missing opportunities to enhance the deal.
Mastering negotiations boils down to mastering your emotional landscape. Emotional intelligence gives you the power to read your own reactions and sense your counterpart’s mood, letting you guide the conversation with confidence and precision.
Let me share three tips I swear by for keeping emotions in check during tough negotiations:
- Be Self-Aware: Dive into your own emotional world. Know what stirs your feelings, pinpoint your triggers, and observe how you normally handle conflict. This clarity keeps you in control when the heat rises.
- Regulate Your Emotions: Maintain control over your feelings so you respond with intention, not impulse. Regular meditation, focused breathing, and visualization have proven invaluable when tensions spike.
- Take Breaks: If you feel your emotions begin to overwhelm you, hit pause. Suggest a short break or step away for a few minutes to regain balance. A brief time-out resets your focus and energy.
Once you steady your own emotions, watch for cues from the other side. Their body language, tone, and expressions often speak louder than words. Skilled negotiators use these signals to tweak their strategy and steer the conversation toward a mutually rewarding outcome.
Emotions drive every negotiation. Positive feelings open the door to mutual gains, while unchecked negativity can stall even the most promising discussions. Nurture your emotional intelligence, take charge of your reactions, and listen closely to the unspoken cues. This approach positions you to navigate any negotiation and secure a satisfying agreement.
Jan Aerts 
